As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize