I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
