Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
