like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
love makes seman taste better
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize