i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
