This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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