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But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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