idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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