you have to choose: penises or morals?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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