Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
