absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
id be glad to
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
