I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
