just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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