he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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