operation harelip BJ is a go
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
