Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
