Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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