So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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