do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
