I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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