Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
