dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
