um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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