An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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