Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
