The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
