So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
