This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Still dying that you shit outside
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
