But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
