woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
