I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
