I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need to sanitize my soul.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
