and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
