We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
