I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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