is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
