Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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