his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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