do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
