If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
