then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize