Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
