so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dicks are not precious.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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