I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
