if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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