Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
