Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
