Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
