Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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