i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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