I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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