is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
