I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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