apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
