im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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