Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
