Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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