it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
