Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
