Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
