you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
