she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
