it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize