you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
