you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
