And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
