It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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