i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
