im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
