the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
