Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize