Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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