Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
