Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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