Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
