after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
