Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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