There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
