i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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