she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
