i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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