Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
