Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize