so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
